I Pray to You O LORD!

Often times when I write my prayers it becomes easier for me to become personal with the Lord.  It also gives me opportunity to check back in to see how He answers.  I'm willing to be a bit vulnerable just now in sharing with you what I've been talking to the Lord about most recently.

It's me Lord, You know, your friend that would rather be outside permitting the snowflakes to blow in my face or the sun to shine on my shoulders into soul soothing favor of contentment and tranquility rather than sitting here dreaming about it.  You know well the practical and independent aspect of me is ever seeking for ways to burn energy.  You also know well that in my current condition it's a challenge to always find other friends that are willing and available to be my hands.  

So here I am revving an engine that has a damaged link between the transmission and the rest of the drive-train downstream.  It's kind of like only one third of this army can hear the general while the other two thirds stand on good-faith-alert trusting that the general will return some day with orders from headquarters. 

Since it is apparent that doing something other than that which requires hand and finger dexterity and activity from all the other muscle groups between there and the tips of my toes, why does the desire for muscular motion continue to remain vibrantly alive?  Is it possible to will an axon into eventual connection to the other side because the desire to reconnect is so great, kind of like Romeo and Juliet reconnecting in spite of so many challenges after so much time had lapsed?

My fleet of mobility methods continues to grow along with my dreams to go farther and for greater periods of time.  I just received a fabulous taste of motion on the ski slopes of Colorado which has served well in adding fuel to the fire of desire to stay in motion.  The freedom was such release for those three days!  But the freedom I seek doesn't come free.  In fact that freedom is far greater than me.  I'm home now where two thirds of the occupants of this establishment seem to be content with far less adventure than I am capable of accepting for myself.  This hillside has a fabulous view which works fine for sitting still after my restlessness has been tamed with physical activity but at this moment it feels more like a cage.

I pray to you, O LORD, in the time of your favor; in your great love, O God, answer me with your sure salvation.  Rescue me from the confinement of this cage; do not let my talents waste; deliver me from physical limitations, from that which chokes my freedom.  Do not let my boundaries engulf me or the lack of resources swallow me or the cage crash in over me.  Answer O LORD, out of the goodness of your love; in your great mercy turn to me.  Do not hide your face from your servant; answer me quickly, for I am in trouble.[1]

My dreams still include:

• ridding my handcycle coast-to-coast
• having access to an RV to simplify the lodging logistics of that trip
• being able to live on a flatter piece of property that permits easier access for this wheelchair I am depending on and easy access to roads for safe handcycle riding right from the house and close proximity to rivers and lakes for kayaking
• a house with covered porches and sufficient interior space I can call my own on this property
• a large enough garage on same property to shelter my recreation equipment and also have room enough for workspace for projects as willing hands come to my aid
• a wheelchair accessible tree house where I could come to the quiet alone or hang out on a limb with friends in the quiet

So Lord, if these dreams would not interfere with YOUR will for my life please place me where these dreams can begin to materialize.  If these dreams are subject to distract me away from your kingdom please dissolve them into something even better than I could ask or think.  Thank YOU for YOUR time LORD!

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[1] modified from Psalm 69:13-17